What you don’t want for xmas

November 30, 2005 § 5 Comments

‘Tis the season for holiday catalogs.  Our tiny mailbox is filled to the brim each day with printed retail goodies.  In fact, I’ve gotten catalogs from places I’ve never even heard from.  One caught my eye in particular with these items:

A domed umbrella – a safe port in a storm!

And don’t forget the matching one for Fido!

"Your family and friends are sure to smile as they pull a tissue from the stone-faced tiki god."  I couldn’t even make that shit up.

Your "cheery tree" will become the talk of the neighborhood!

 

An essential tool for the home stylist!

 

Nothing says bling bling like a diamond paper weight.  Let all your coworkers know you’re a baller with this gem.

Holiday feasts take a real toll on the waistline.  Don’t forget to pack your Waist Extender this holiday season!

Back fat got you down?  Don’t worry, just extend that bra and make it comfy again!

Why not perk up your lawn and entertain neighbors with a Whizzing Beagle?  Don’t worry, this ceramic pup leaves no trace behind!

And, my personal favorite:  Totally Nude Aerobics hosted by a Traci Lords lookalike.
Warning:  Contains Nudity.

Advertisements

§ 5 Responses to What you don’t want for xmas

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

What’s this?

You are currently reading What you don’t want for xmas at mingaling.

meta

%d bloggers like this: