Adventures in Fake Meat

June 12, 2006 § 8 Comments

So I’ve been trying out different soy-based fake meat products for the last couple of weeks.  Why?  Um, curiosity I guess.  Also, they have a much lower fat content than the genuine meat version.  But since I wouldn’t normally eat frozen sausage patties or chicken nuggets on a regular basis, it doesn’t really matter does it?

So here’s the rundown on the soy-sage results:

  • Boca Breakfast Patties – Um, yuck.  The taste was somewhat okay, but the texture was a big turn off.  Very granule-y and unappealing.  The smell seemed about right.  Looked okay.
  • Morningstar Farms Veggie Breakfast Sausage Patties – Tasted okay.  Like a bland sausage, with a spicy aftertaste.  Doesn’t smell like sausage, but looked okay and the texture wasn’t as bad as the Boca patty.
  • Publix Greenwise Veggie Sausage Patties – WINNER.  This generic Publix brand looked, smelled, and tasted like sausage.  The boy couldn’t even tell the difference.  Great taste with enough spice.
  • Morningstar Farms Breakfast Sandwich with Cheese – Good lord, this was a mistake.  The patty itself was okay (same Morningstar patty), but the frozen neon orange cheese and iced egg should have been a big "no" sign to myself.  The muffin part and patty were the only edible things, which is surprising since both the cheese and egg were real and not soy.

And, for shits and giggles, I figured I’d branch out a bit and experiment with fake chicken, so I tried the Morningstar Farms Buffalo Wings.  Yes, I know.  You can’t actually have a fake chicken wing.  These are pretty much nuggets with a buffalo sauce taste and slightly red coloring.  The boy and I took a few bites and we both agreed:  it tastes like ALLIGATOR!  Okay, that might be weird if you’re not from Florida, but alligator pretty much tastes like old chicken.  You can get gator bites at a lot of restaurants and bars, and apparently fake chicken also tastes like alligator.  The only problem with this is that there really isn’t a "buffalo" taste to these things, so why bother?  I poured Frank’s Hot Sauce on them and they were perfect.  But then again, anything with Frank’s is better.

I also tried a few of Amy’s Kitchen Organic products.  I give a big 2 thumbs up to the veggie lasagna, chili with cornbread, and mac n cheese, but a big no to the black bean burrito.

So there you have it.  I don’t think I’ll be venturing into the soy crumbles or strips because of the texture thing, but I’ve stocked up on those yummy Publix patties and Amy’s products.  Hmm… I think we’ll have steak tonight…

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§ 8 Responses to Adventures in Fake Meat

  • Sarcomical says:

    most of amy’s products ROCK. did you try gardenburger? i love the original. and i think it’s smart something? that makes a breakfast-y sausage link package that’s decent.

    anyway, good luck! i haven’t done meatless for a while, but i’m on the verge of going back.

  • Maigh says:

    Mmmmmmmmmmmmmeat.

    One of my ex-‘s once slipped faux hot dogs into my mac and cheese thinking I wouldn’t notice…and I might not have if the casing hadn’t been made of some organic plastic type substance. Blllleeeh!

  • dpb says:

    Why all the hating on real meat? I know there are healthier things to eat out there than meat, but come on… why try to fake it out? If soy was supposed to taste like meat, it would. What weird shit are they finding to add to the soy to make it taste like meat. Somehow I think whatever it is, is probably worse off for you than chowing down on a big juicy steak.

  • mingaling says:

    No one is hating on real meat. It’s called “trying something new.” Refer to the first paragraph of the post.

  • duane says:

    Franks red hot!!! YEAH!!! As for the Morningstar farms “ground beef” cumblings, steer clear. I have one word for you: shits.

  • danielle says:

    I’m not a huge fake meat eater (that sounds like a horrible euphemism), but I really love Gimme Lean Sausage (there’s also a beef variety, but the sausage is far superior). It comes in a roll in the dairy section. You can slice it and fry it up next to your eggs, but I also use it in pasta sauces (white and red). The texture beats the hell out of frozen stuff, and it’s seasoned perfectly.

  • Kimberly says:

    We’re big fans of the St. Ives Veggie Dogs in our house. A bun and some condiments and you cannot tell the difference.

  • mingaling says:

    danielle – those sound great; we’ll give them a try!

    sarcomical – I love gardenburger. I think I love it even more because it doesn’t try to replicate fake meat.

    kimberly – thanks for the tip! I’ll give them a try, too!

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