Win some, lose some

November 6, 2008 § 6 Comments

I’m sure it comes of no surprise to most of you that I did vote for the eventual winner in the election. That being said, while I am happy to see him win, I don’t share the profound elation that change is coming. Hopeful, yes, but certainly not giddy. It’s sort of like when you get a new job. You celebrate the accomplishment, but then you really need to see if you’re going to accomplish anything. I hope the real work follows through, you know?

I’m probably most disheartened by the propositions banning gay marriage that passed in several states, including my home state, Florida. Maybe it’s hitting me more since our wedding is a mere 9 days away, but some statements and quotes on the subject really hit me. Hard.

When I marry the Mr., we will instantly get all of the privileges and immunities that come with a legally recognized marriage. These benefits include estate planning benefits, tax benefits, government benefits, including the ability to receive Social Security, Medicare, and disability benefits in our spouse’s name, employment benefits, including the ability to take family leave to care for each other during an illness and to obtain insurance benefits through each other’s employer, and more. There are over 1,000 laws in which marital status is a factor in federal law alone.

I also recognize the “moral” religious opposition to this. I’m not going to argue about religion here – that’s an absolutely personal position and I won’t question anyone else’s. I guess my point of view is that I pretty much picture God as a laid-back dude who’s cool with two people making a honest commitment to love each other, even if they’re the same sex. I’m pretty sure Jesus is cool with love, but hey, that’s just me.

It’s easy to say the government should abolish state recognition of marriage and get out of the business entirely, then disentangle all of the above benefits from the status of marriage (believe me, I repeated this quite loudly several times while filling out the stupid marriage license application). But in REALITY, this is the current situation. Until the day that happens, the state is involved in every marriage. The fact is that not long ago, the Mr. and I would also not have the right to legally marry. Neither would my parents. This is the reality, folks.

§ 6 Responses to Win some, lose some

  • dpb says:

    I agree my position of getting the government out of the marriage business is extreme or not feasible based off the way things currently are. I’m not that naive. I’m just of the mindset if something is broken, the way marriage laws obviously are now, let’s fix them the right way rather than entangle them in even more nonsense.

    I guess it all depends on how the law is phrased… when it was on the ballot here it asking if the constitution should be amended (why do I consistently want to put to ‘m’s in amend?) to define marriage as being between a man and woman. I voted no.

  • duane says:

    Very well written and very well said. I am proud to have compassionate straight allies as best friends!!!

  • docjohnboy says:

    Thank you for posting this, and for your support.

  • ETK says:

    Very very well said. I know I’m caught up in the hope I have for change. In Obama. In the strides that the US made in finally, FINALLY electing an African American president. Yet, I’m also so sad and disheartened at the passing of these propositions. So sad, just so so sad, that I can’t really bring myself to talk about it just yet. Can’t wrap my mind around how extremely disappointed I am in these people.

    So, I leave it to people who are so eloquent with words – like you, MKD, and others I read on a regular basis.

    Thanks for putting it out there.

  • Michelle says:

    I’m right there with you on #2. I can’t believe all those that voted for it couldn’t see past just the whole “gay marriage” aspect of it. It’s about so much more than that.

    Who cares of two men or two women want to get married or have a domestic partnership? Is it physically hurting anyone? No.

    What saddens me is the hetero couples who needed this for domestic partnerships are equally hurt in this as well.

    People in Florida and California and any other state that his this need to take a step back and really look at everything that these amendments encompass.

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