Dear Anthropologie

Dear Anthropologie,

Damn you for all your finery and cuter-than-cuteness. Thanks for making me salivate over the faux pas known as shabby chic, which I eschewed until we met.

Screw you for adding awesome home goods in addition to clothes I can’t afford or shoes that are too small. And your “sales” – discounts on things I should already know are still way overpriced – are a joke.

Fine. Take all my money.

Signed,
Your Bitch