From bud to blossom
May 3, 2009 § 3 Comments
Tulips have always been my favorite flower. There’s something fascinating about its transformation from bulb to bloom. Beginning as a bud, it has to force itself through frosted ground in order to grow. Once grown, its long, waxy stem produces the most demure and deceivingly delicate buds. But within a few days, these once shy buds open up to reveal its dark and velvety center surrounded exposed by its wild and sometimes unruly petals.
Someone once remarked that I seem to relish in the disdain of others. I wasn’t always this way. There was another life in which I was quite placid, as nice girls should be. Shy, self-concious, I was a shadow of my own self. Self? Wait, who was I kidding, there was no self back then. I worried, too. So much worry over whether people liked me, being good enough, and I walked on eggshells.
But I stopped. It took a long time, but I found myself. And yes, there is a small bit of delight when I can open my mouth and disagree and object to my heart’s content. There are people that are taken aback by me; even my family is still getting used to this. I will not nod my head in zombie-like agreement for social sake (my poor husband knows this all too well). If you say something ridiculous and absurd, I will call you out on it, plain and simple. It’s pretty painful (and obvious) to see that so many people still haven’t gotten to this wonderful and freeing place yet. All I know is It took me such a long time to find my voice, so pardon me while I sing out loud.
Actually, don’t. I’m going to anyway.