Waiting on the Motherload
March 15, 2010 § 6 Comments
The other day I noticed that the baby hadn’t pooped all day. As a new parent, pooping is very important (almost as important as feeding her). Immediately after her birth, they give us a chart to write down every time she pooped or peed. Every time the nurse came into the room, the first thing she asked was if she had any dirty diapers (um, hello? I’m the one that just pushed out a human being. Fine, pay attention to the cute one… grr).
So I waited. And waited. And waited some more. She was grunty and gassy, and it was obvious that she wanted to poop but it just wasn’t happening. It was Day 4 of no poop and I was getting worried. I consulted Baby 411, which is pretty much the bible of newborn care and read it was just fine, but was that good enough for my psychopathic new mom anxiety? Noooo… so I googled and got the same. damn. answer.
People, I am famous on the internet not for my wit or charm, but the fact that I am always constipated. Had I passed this onto my kid through some magical transfusion via breastmilk? Is my kid never going to poop again? And why the fuck am I so eager to change a shitty diaper?
That brings us to Day 5. She was entertaining herself while I jumped in the shower, and when I got out she was giggling loudly and had the biggest smile on her face. She was so proud of herself for, you guessed it, POOP. And it was the motherload: she shit through her diaper, her pjs, her blanket, our duvet, and through our comforter. It was a spectacular assplosion, and I scooped her up and screamed “emergency bath!” while running across the house. But she was happy, and so was I.
At home we use a little Eat, Sleep, & Poop journal. I tried to be all fancy and high tech with an iPod/Phone app called Baby Brain, but when you’re sleep deprived and limited in time wrangling a newborn, you are not in any mood to push buttons unless you have an assistant. Old school paper and pen work the best.